.Sunday, April 19 ' 5:13 PM Y
This few days im having moodswings.
Serious moodswing problem.
What the heck is wrong with me?
Cgm.
Im not trying to self-depricate myself.
But seriously, its been a long time since i truly laughed out.
All those laughters are trying to put up a show.
How can i feel truly happy?
Those acts, gah.
I hate myself being like that.
After cgm, went to see my yeye at hospital.
D:
Im very sad when i saw his condition.
Seriously God, you got to heal him.
You love him, dont you?
You have to get him healthy & strong please.
I cant bear to see him being so painful and breathless.
God, i really pray for healing over him.
Please heal him in the name of Jesus.
I want my yeye to grow stronger, not weaker D:
Service today.
Well, basically, i dont know whats wrong.
Sermon was good, i enjoyed it.
Finally abit of feeling happy.
Yes, i really love the house of God :]
Talked about caring and love thruout the whole weekend.
Its easy to love people who are easy to love.
But its not easy to love people who are irritating the shit out of you.
Its not easy to love someone who is a pain in the ass.
Its not easy to care for someone who is a total brat.
Its not easy to care and love someone who has hurt you like shit.
Hence, caring and loving truly takes effort and time.
But, lets think.
Who really appreciate your kindness and love towards them?
Who will remember you for your care and love?
People nowadays take things for granted.
Me too D:
To all that i hurt.
Now when i think back, i seriously feel like a bitch.
But yes, i do it all over again, wtf D:
Im so worried about my family problems.
Im afraid my parents will quarrell over small matters.
Im afraid that my family will have financial problems.
But i know that there's a God up there watching over us, so we'll never be in lack.
But im still worried for my parents, will they be able to cope?
How can i help?
How can i get closer with my brother?
How can i show care and love towards him?
Things are rushing in my mind like crazy.
I feel like crying over and over again.
I feel like praying over and over again.
But i dont know if God is really hearing me out, if he's really willing to help D:
When im in the midst of all these problems & stress, there sure must be some addition to it.
Bastard.
What the heck.
Everyone is so self-centered.
They just think about themselves.
When was the last time you heard me out?
All you could do is to talk to me about your freaking stuff.
Stuff that isnt important at all.
Now i find it so difficult to share my stuff with people.
I found that i lost trust in people.
I cant turn to anyone.
My feelings are contained within me and yes, im going to explode one day.
I still cant bring myself to open this blog.
Because i cant trust anyone.
Thats it of my long winded self-talking.
